mAgNoLia 2

Monday, October 3, 2011

Being Seen Part I

Hey Everyone,
Sorry for having missed last week. I’ve had some health issues and then there was a kitten that I rescued over twenty years ago when she was a 10 week old furball that had to be put down – she’s stopped eating anything and was having other troubles. It was a pretty challenging week last week and Sunday just blew past me. This last Sunday about 10hours of my day was spent on the road so not very conducive to blogging; thus I am a day late, but at least not a dollar short.
For the last 10+ months I have been working on myself and my life, more focused than just the day to day trying to be open to learning and moving forward etcetera but really making change in my life. I got started by doing one very hard thing (at least for most of us); I asked for help. I’m a very strong person, but I’d hit bottom and I didn’t understand quiet how I managed to get there. This wasn’t what I wanted, but here I was so I knew I needed help to understand things so I could make some real changes in my life.

Well, today I finally watched this video about the power of vulnerability: Go ahead and check it out; it’s only 20 minutes out of a 1,440 minutes of your day. I’ll still be here when you get back.

It took my breath, it made me laugh, it brought tears to my eyes . . . it has through out my day provoked so much thought, and truly amazing ideas. What would happen if I started sharing how messed up I am, what I’m afraid of, how I’m so afraid of not doing or being enough? What if I really accepted that not only am I enough, but I keep getting better all the time. If I tell people the things I think are wrong with me they might agree with me – maybe they would help me, maybe they would empathize with me, maybe they would laugh and I could laugh with them and then I wouldn’t have to carry the burden anymore and then I wouldn’t have to be afraid. If that isn’t power I don’t know what is, not to mention the tremendous freedom that doing this would bring. Let yourself contemplate it; it’s pretty amazing.

For so long we have been taught not to feel, to fear our feelings and push them away, but I'm learning that is one of the biggest lies and the worst possible things we could ever do to harm ourselves. Feelings are one of the most amazing tool kits ever and I can’t help but wonder why no one ever explained it like this to me – so, here I am writing this out for you. Pay attention to your feelings. Remember having courage doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid, it means you don’t let it stop you from doing what needs to be done. People keep saying things need to change and I say yes and in addition I would say the first place you should start is with you. If one tiny atom can make a difference in the world, imagine what a difference a conglomeration of billions of focused atoms can do; you are a living force/energy that holds together literally billions if not trillions or more atoms, you are the stuff of stars – be good to yourself. Nurture, forgive, accept, love unconditionally and have amazing tremendous compassion for you and you will inherit, you will evolve to share with the world the amazing, utterly brilliant and wondrous gift that is you in all it’s glory and you will shine like the stars. Don’t believe me, well that’s ok cause I can see it in you and you are my mirror.  


  1. Wow! That video was awesome. What you are saying is what I am feeling and the process that I'm going through at the moment. Thank you for directing me to the video and for putting into words what I can't. You are enough! And so am I. Mwah!

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  3. Warming huggs after the challenging week!
    The best of luck for the new direction of your journey!
    I've lived more than 5 decades that way and can say: sometimes it hurts like hell, but there is no price that could make me change the direction! :D

  4. Twenty minutes well spent! Thank you for sharing the video and it all..

  5. Thanks for sharing the video and having the courage to share your soul as well...I watched the video for the fourth time yesterday and got something new out of it...this time I really understood that we have to name the feeling of shame when it happens to us...I so related to the whole thing of acting out on others when we are feeling ashamed ourselves and you're so right Sonya...we all feel the same pain and it seems that theonly ones that are really super hard on us is ourselves..much love to you my friend ♥♥