Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
My BIGGEST lie is that . . .
I am not good enough, I can’t let people see the real me, it isn’t safe and I’m not enough.
I think the most courageous thing, for me, that I’ve done in a LONG time, is letting people see the authentic me; and the response has been phenomenal and nothing I would have ever imagined. I am HAPPY and other people can see it; I don’t mean I am happy about something, I’m just happy. I’m sitting here typing this and my neck and shoulder is in so much pain, my house is getting better but parts of it are still really a disaster, but damn it I’m just so happy inside myself and it’s AWESOME!
I love life! I’m not sure I’ve ever said that I just said it out loud. I use to think I was broken beyond repair. I was a person I couldn’t say, “Today is a good day to die” because I’d be like ok, bring it on, sounds good to me. I had to say to myself if I could manage it that, “Today is a good day to live.” Wow talk about faking it, can you just hear that meek, half hearted, yeah sure whatever voice saying that garbage? But, it isn’t garbage anymore.
Wow, I really want to just sit down and write out my story for you and tell you about this amazing journey I’ve been on but then there is reality that, I’m not going to do that tonight. I need to be able to wake up early so I can go see my wonderful chiropractor who I think is going to be really shocked when he sees me because I have grown and changed so much since the last time I saw him, I need to do this because this is part of taking care of me and that is my new and REALLY big MO.
Hey, just this last thing . . . The more authentic I am, the more I take care of me the more I give that gift to others – for them to be authentically themselves, to encourage, value and cheer the heck on others taking care of and doing right by themselves. So my amazing peeps ROCK ON! And well for those of you that maybe don’t know me yet, well you are reading this and there will be more, OH so much more. Feel free to leave a comment, share; I’d love to hear from you. BIG LOVE! <3
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Do you remember the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life?” George gets to find out what the world would be like if he had never existed. You are amazing and unique and no one can do what you do in the way that you do it and because of that the world would be so much less without you. Is something dissing your courage (discouragement)? Take some time and consider what is bringing this into your life? Dig deep. If you aren’t sure and feeling confused, pay attention to your feelings because they are the most amazing toolbox you can use to find what is right for you. When there are people and things in your life that bring you joy, people and places where you can be yourself embrace those and let the rest fall away. No one knows you better than you, you are enough, and you matter, you REALLY matter. Do you know about the Brave Girls Club? Check out this video at: http://bravegirlsclub.com/archives/6618
Monday, October 3, 2011
Sorry for having missed last week. I’ve had some health issues and then there was a kitten that I rescued over twenty years ago when she was a 10 week old furball that had to be put down – she’s stopped eating anything and was having other troubles. It was a pretty challenging week last week and Sunday just blew past me. This last Sunday about 10hours of my day was spent on the road so not very conducive to blogging; thus I am a day late, but at least not a dollar short.
For the last 10+ months I have been working on myself and my life, more focused than just the day to day trying to be open to learning and moving forward etcetera but really making change in my life. I got started by doing one very hard thing (at least for most of us); I asked for help. I’m a very strong person, but I’d hit bottom and I didn’t understand quiet how I managed to get there. This wasn’t what I wanted, but here I was so I knew I needed help to understand things so I could make some real changes in my life.
Well, today I finally watched this video about the power of vulnerability: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o Go ahead and check it out; it’s only 20 minutes out of a 1,440 minutes of your day. I’ll still be here when you get back.
It took my breath, it made me laugh, it brought tears to my eyes . . . it has through out my day provoked so much thought, and truly amazing ideas. What would happen if I started sharing how messed up I am, what I’m afraid of, how I’m so afraid of not doing or being enough? What if I really accepted that not only am I enough, but I keep getting better all the time. If I tell people the things I think are wrong with me they might agree with me – maybe they would help me, maybe they would empathize with me, maybe they would laugh and I could laugh with them and then I wouldn’t have to carry the burden anymore and then I wouldn’t have to be afraid. If that isn’t power I don’t know what is, not to mention the tremendous freedom that doing this would bring. Let yourself contemplate it; it’s pretty amazing.
For so long we have been taught not to feel, to fear our feelings and push them away, but I'm learning that is one of the biggest lies and the worst possible things we could ever do to harm ourselves. Feelings are one of the most amazing tool kits ever and I can’t help but wonder why no one ever explained it like this to me – so, here I am writing this out for you. Pay attention to your feelings. Remember having courage doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid, it means you don’t let it stop you from doing what needs to be done. People keep saying things need to change and I say yes and in addition I would say the first place you should start is with you. If one tiny atom can make a difference in the world, imagine what a difference a conglomeration of billions of focused atoms can do; you are a living force/energy that holds together literally billions if not trillions or more atoms, you are the stuff of stars – be good to yourself. Nurture, forgive, accept, love unconditionally and have amazing tremendous compassion for you and you will inherit, you will evolve to share with the world the amazing, utterly brilliant and wondrous gift that is you in all it’s glory and you will shine like the stars. Don’t believe me, well that’s ok cause I can see it in you and you are my mirror.