This was recently posted on the
Dalai Lama’s Facebook page; “Although we are all the same in not wanting
problems and wanting a peaceful life, we tend to create a lot of problems for
ourselves. Encountering those problems, anger develops and overwhelms our mind,
which leads to violence. A good way to counter this and to work for a more
peaceful world is to develop concern for others. Then our anger, jealousy and
other destructive emotions will naturally weaken and diminish.”
A gentleman by the
name of Wong Wee Kiong responded, “It is
ideal to have mutual concerns. But we are entering a cold period with less
influences from religions, it is a very hard time ahead....
We are simply entering a time of change and we can either
embrace it as an opportunity to release that, which is destructive and holds us
back from being our best or we can hold on and resist change; continuing in our
struggles and suffering. Life is what we make of it. To make room for the new we
must grow and release the old that no longer serves our well-being.
Joy and peace are much desired qualities,
but too often people look for these outside of themselves in other people
and/or things and when they feel they are let down we blame others outside of
ourselves. The truth is that our peace of mind and happiness dwell within us
and are not dependant upon what is happening outside of ourselves. I know that
this can be quiet a challenge, it means setting our egos aside. It’s all well
and good to say just set your ego aside but how do we accomplish this? One way
is to recognize that we are all profoundly connected, accept that the other
person(s) is doing the best that they can at any given moment – even if it
doesn’t seem that way to you. Other things are to look for common ground even
if it means looking at your common flaws (which are just obstacles yet to be
overcome). Even in being connected (spiritually and scientifically) we are
still uniquely responsible for our own feelings, thoughts and actions. For
instance there is a person you love who can’t love you back or not in the way
you would like, it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve that love, just that perhaps
that person isn’t the one capable of giving you what you want and deserve.
Accept that our perception, though hopefully continuing to grow and evolve, is
limited and different than others, even those close to us and sometimes
especially those that are closest to us. Another big way to release ego is
simply to recognize it. Well, how the heck do I do that? Whenever you feel hurt
by someone’s words or actions that’s ego – you are looking outside of yourself
for love, validation, happiness, etc. When you are falling in love with another
person those feelings are still generated within you, just like anger, but
anger is different. If you really remove yourself from your anger (don’t think
about it or engage it in anyway) for a minute and a half, it will pass. That
passing will give you the opportunity to chose a different perspective. That
person who cut you off on the road didn’t do something to ‘you’; you were
probably the last thing on their mind. Perhaps they are distracted because they
just lost their child/parent/spouse, or they are in the middle of a divorce,
just had a baby or lost their job/home. We may not be able to understand
exactly how another person feels in a given situation, but we do understand
things like stress/sorrow/suffering to some degree or another and this brings
us to one more BIG way to let go of ego – compassion. Even the simple act of
recognizing ego diminishes it. Releasing ego is the key to the doorway of
freedom. If you believe that your joy lies outside of yourself you give up your
power because then another can hold that and lord it over you. We may not
always like everything that is happening in our lives, especially during
challenging times, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up our peace of mind
in the midst of our learning, growing and moving toward better things. Even the seemingly worst things can turn
out for the best.
The Chinese have long sought to
crush Tibet and the Tibetan spiritual path, yet their efforts have accomplished
something amazing that would have otherwise never have happened, they have
given the WORLD the Dalai Lama and his teachings.
Perspective is everything,
stretch yourself and look for the bigger picture.
I have been struggling these
last few weeks with my ego and grief over a relationship that will never be
what I want.
I know it can be difficult to
let go; sometimes people aren’t capable of giving us what we desire, it doesn’t
mean we don’t love or have compassion for them, but like I said before,
sometimes we have to let go of people or things that are destructive, no longer
serves us and holds us back from being the best that we can be. In letting go
of the ego we let go of fear make room for love and move forward to healthier
relationships and lives free of guilt and blame.
